Asymmetrical vs. Symmetrical Relationships and Narcissism
Narcissism is a hot topic these days, and it’s important to understand that narcissism exists on a spectrum. It's not just about the classic "full-blown" narcissist, who lacks empathy and is incapable of change.
Narcissism can manifest in various forms, and individuals can change if they’re willing. One helpful way to conceptualize ourselves and our relationships is by using relationship dynamics, such as symmetrical and asymmetrical relationships, to understand how we show up in relationships and the patterns we’re often attracted to in our partners.
It is helpful to first categorize relationships as either symmetrical or asymmetrical…
What is an example of a Symmetrical Relationship?
A symmetrical relationship is one where both partners behave in similar ways. In these relationships, the dynamics are balanced, meaning both individuals exhibit similar emotional responses, communication styles, and conflict patterns.
For instance, in some symmetrical relationships, both partners might be loud, grandiose, and boundaryless, engaging in constant conflicts where they argue loudly without resolution.
Other symmetrical relationships might feature two partners who are both avoidant and withdrawn during conflicts, often leading to silent resentment.
Signs of Symmetrical relationships
In a symmetrical relationship, you may notice the following signs:
Both partners react to conflict in the same way, whether it's arguing loudly or withdrawing.
There’s a mutual disregard for boundaries.
Both partners feel stuck in a cycle of behavior that leads to frustration or resentment.
What is an example of an asymmetrical relationship?
An asymmetrical relationship is when there’s a mismatch in the dynamics between partners. For example, one partner may exhibit more overt narcissistic behaviors—being loud, boundaryless, and grandiose—while the other partner might be more avoidant, withdrawing from conflicts or suppressing their emotions.
In these types of relationships, one person tends to dominate, while the other is passive or submissive, often resulting in an unhealthy imbalance of power. This often leads to one partner feeling ignored or invalidated, while the other feels entitled and empowered.
Signs of asymmetrical relationships
Some signs that you might be in an asymmetrical relationship include:
One partner dominates communication and conflict, while the other partner withdraws.
One partner regularly imposes their will on the relationship, while the other partner remains passive.
There is a noticeable power imbalance where one partner controls the emotional atmosphere.
Symmetrical vs. asymmetrical relationships: key differences
While both symmetrical and asymmetrical relationships can be problematic, the key difference lies in the power dynamics and emotional responses. In symmetrical relationships, both partners are similarly engaged in the same behavior, leading to a cycle of mutual dysfunction.
In contrast, asymmetrical relationships often involve a narcissistic partner who is emotionally manipulative and controlling, with a partner who struggles with codependency or emotional passivity.
Asymmetrical relationship and narcissism
One of the most common dynamics in asymmetrical relationships involves narcissism. In these relationships, the narcissist is typically the partner who exhibits dominant, boundaryless behaviors - these are overt narcissistic traits. Narcissism, however, can also be covert, which shows up as passive aggression and withdrawal.
Whether overt or covert, narcissists in asymmetrical relationships exploit their partner’s emotional vulnerabilities, controlling or manipulating them emotionally.
Relationship Dynamics with Narcissists
The relationship dynamics with narcissists can be very damaging, especially in asymmetrical relationships. The narcissist’s behaviors often lead to emotional distress for the other partner, who may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or guilt. It is essential for individuals in these relationships to understand the dynamics at play and seek help if necessary.
Understanding Relationship Patterns and Narcissism
The dynamics of symmetrical relationships vs. asymmetrical relationships are often shaped by early life experiences, including family relationships and how individuals learned to deal with conflict.
In relationships with a narcissist, it’s common to see patterns of codependency, with one partner over-accommodating the narcissist’s needs while neglecting their own emotional well-being.
It’s crucial to understand these relationship patterns to break free from toxic cycles. By recognizing the signs of a symmetrical relationship or an asymmetrical relationship, individuals can begin to address issues of narcissism and codependency that may be negatively impacting their emotional health.
Conclusion: Symmetrical vs. Asymmetrical Relationships and Narcissism
Recognizing the difference between symmetrical and asymmetrical relationships is the first step toward understanding how narcissism and other relational issues manifest in your life. Whether you’re dealing with a narcissist in a symmetrical relationship or an asymmetrical relationship, understanding the relationship dynamics with narcissists can help you take steps toward healing and building healthier connections.
By learning about the types of relationship dynamics, signs of symmetrical relationships, and understanding relationship patterns, you can gain clarity and begin addressing toxic behaviors in your relationships.
If you're dealing with a narcissistic-codependent relationship, therapy and support can help you break free from these unhealthy patterns and regain emotional independence. Contact us to begin your journey toward healing.
