Are you curious about EMDR but not really sure what it is or how it can help? Here is how we typically break it down for people:

Narcissists are often drawn to very caring, nurturing people who are willing to put their own needs aside to care for others. This is part of the reason that people remain in narcissistic relationships for so long. In order to set some healthy boundaries or leave the relationship, you are often forced to end up acting in ways that feel very outside of your personality.

Codependents are people who learned that their needs don’t matter and are therefore focused on the needs of others. Problems arise when codependents focus so much on others that their self-neglect becomes detrimental to their own wellbeing and, as a result, their relationships suffer as well.

Codependency doesn’t seem that bad. Usually codependents are lovely people and people love them. They are caregivers and fixers – always putting others before themselves. The obvious pitfall is if they always put others before themselves, who is taking care of them?

Most content about infidelity is about the partner who was betrayed, and for good reason. However, it is also important for the person who did the betrayal to have a safe place to explore their behavior and investigate their story if this is something that they are willing to do. If you find that you are the one who did the cheating and are now feeling the overwhelming weight of remorse and confusion about your own decision, this might be for you.

I know that EMDR uses eye movements but I don’t really know anything else about it. Does this sound like you? If so, you are in the right place!

So you’ve identified someone in your life has toxic behavior and you think it’s likely they are a narcissist, but you want to make it work? There’s nothing inherently wrong with staying in a relationship with a narcissist, but it does take work.

If you have been following along for a bit, you know that we often talk about codependency being a protective reaction to not having our attachment needs met in childhood. We find it is often helpful to think about it this way…

There are three main styles of attachment: secure, anxious and avoidant. They are established in childhood and then show up in our relationships throughout our lives. Today, we’re talking specifically about different attachment styles in our sexual relationships. It’s important to keep in mind that like most things, attachment exists on a spectrum.

Generational trauma includes physical, psychological and sexual abuse, effects of substance use and abuse, and effects of living with personality disorders and mental illness. It can happen through direct experience, witnessing violence, or living with a constant threat of violence.

Narcissism is incredibly insidious by nature. It shows up in all kinds of relationships including the workplace. Someone does not have to be diagnosed with NPD in order to be displaying significant traits of narcissism in a relationship.

Navigating a relationship with a narcissist is extremely draining. It takes so much physical, mental, and emotional strength to confront them, hold boundaries, and maintain clarity that it is often easier to tap out. If this is you please know you are not alone and we have some ideas that might help…

Attachment style is another way of understanding how we show up in relationships. It’s rooted in our childhood experiences with our parents and determines how we interact with our romantic partners.

One of the common misconceptions about marriage and family therapists is that we only treat couples and families. While we do have training in working with couples and families and hundreds of clinical hours required to apply for licensure as LMFT’s, the title is really more about our conceptualization of cases than the number of people in the room.

Typically where you find a narcissist, you will find a codependent. So if you’re googling “is my partner a narcissist?” yes, they probably are. And you could also be looking at what that means about you.

We know that codependency can have a negative or even shaming connotation with it. The image is usually of a weak person who is not able to defend themselves. The reality is that people who end up becoming codependent are typically very kind, warm, compassionate people who have learned over time that their needs don’t matter.

We talk a lot about issues in relationships, like infidelity. Why is infidelity so prevalent when couples have agreed upon rules and expectations in their relationships?

So the holidays have come and gone- how are you doing? A lot of times the holidays can bring to light issues we have been dealing with for a long time but have pushed off getting help about.

True narcissists are not interested in or even capable of real self-reflection. And definitely not change.

People pleasing is such a tricky thing to navigate. Especially over the holidays! There are so many people's expectations to manage and we can get so lost in those demands that we totally lose ourselves and end up not enjoying the season.