The Aftermath of Infidelity

The aftermath of infidelity is really lonely – and it totally sucks. Experiencing infidelity is incredibly complex and often people are left feeling alone and unsupported at a time that is incredibly painful and lonely to begin with. 

There are so many layers of betrayal to infidelity. The obvious betrayal is from the partner who cheated. People also often feel betrayed by the person they cheated with whether it was someone they knew or not. This is also a time where you end up finding out who your true friends are. Many times people will end up losing friends and family who they would not have anticipated. 

In addition to the betrayal by others, one of the really painful things for people is feeling betrayed by themselves, questioning their own judgment and not being able to trust their ability to make decisions in the future. 

All of this contributes to the incredible feelings of loneliness and worthlessness that people often articulate. Many people experience symptoms of PTSD in the aftermath of an affair. People often describe disrupted sleep, flashbacks (even of images they only imaged and never witnessed), disrupted sense of self, feelings of numbness, depression, and hypervigilance.

Rebuilding your life after infidelity can feel like standing in the wreckage after an explosion. The process feels insurmountable and a place that once felt so safe and familiar is now destroyed. We have seen for so many that there can be life on the other side. It is so important to focus on people, places, activities that help you feel valuable and safe.