Narcissistic Tendencies vs. Full-Blown Narcissist: What To Watch For
Narcissism exists on a spectrum and it can be helpful to identify if your partner has narcissistic tendencies. If they do, it doesn’t mean that they are a full-blown narcissist. It can mean, however, that you may want to evaluate your boundaries and whether or not you’re losing yourself in the relationship. Just like narcissism exists on a spectrum, the effect on you can range from giving too much of yourself/losing yourself to full-on victim of abuse.
Narcissistic tendencies vs. full-blown narcissism:
Selfishness:
Selfishness can be established in childhood and can lead to narcissistic behaviors. This comes from children who were the center of their parents universe and did not receive enough limits, structure and consequences.
The question is to what extent is their selfishness interfering with their ability to have empathy and care for others. Do they expect to get their way and cause major disturbance in the relationship when they don’t? Do they display understanding and compassion when their partner is in distress?
Empathy:
This element of narcissism can be noticed especially when the narcissistic partner is approached about their behavior. For instance, if you point out to your partner that they always assume you’ll watch whatever they want to watch on TV. Someone who has narcissistic tendencies will show some remorse and might make an effort to be more considerate in the future. A narcissist might give you a fake apology, which you will learn is fake because they don’t actually change anything.
Grandiosity:
People on the narcissistic spectrum will feel neglected and unimportant when conversations aren’t about them, but true narcissists have little ability to tolerate actually listening to others. They will all crave attention and try to turn conversation toward them, but the degree to which they also don’t seem to care about what others are saying is the degree to which they are narcissistic.
Value systems:
People with narcissistic tendencies have values and principles that they live by, while full-blown narcissists justify and even blame others for their breaking of relational and societal boundaries. For instance, a true narcissist will cheat on their partner and blame the relationship or their partner directly for their actions, while someone with narcissistic tendencies might have the value that they do not cheat on their partner.
Knowing that narcissism exists on a spectrum can be helpful to settle any ruminations about it.
People often get caught up in “is my partner a narcissist or not?” But the more important variable is learning where they are on this spectrum and the impact it is having on you. We hope this helps you evaluate your relationships & boundaries with those closest to you. Just as narcissism exists on a spectrum, the effect on you can range from giving too much of yourself/losing yourself to full-on victim of abuse. Wherever you fall on this spectrum, learning to find your voice and set clear boundaries that you enforce will be an important part of your healing.
If you feel like you might be in a relationship (romantic or not) with a narcissist, we encourage you to Grab our FREE download of 9 telltale signs that you might be in a relationship with a Narcissist.
