Narcissist-Codependent Relationships: The Toxic Yin-Yang Cycle
Typically where you find a narcissist, you will find a codependent. So if you’re googling “is my partner a narcissist?” yes, they probably are. And you could also be looking at what that means about you.
What is a Narcissist-Codependent Relationship?
Most relationships are complementary – there is a yin and yang. In a narcissist-codependent relationship, the narcissist’s complementary partner is often a codependent.
The problem with this is that ‘complementary’ is a flattering word. In reality, the relationship between a narcissist and codependent will tend to keep both partners stuck in a toxic cycle.
Why Are narcissists attracted to Codependents?
Narcissists are drawn to codependents because of the inherent traits and behaviors of codependent partners. Codependent traits in a narcissist-codependent relationship include putting others' needs and wants first, lacking personal boundaries, and focusing primarily on their partner’s happiness.
This makes being narcissistic in the relationship easy. Narcissists put their own needs and wants before anyone else’s, they have no regard for boundaries, and their primary concern is their own feelings.
Codependent and narcissist traits in relationships
Common traits in codependent and narcissist relationships include:
Codependents: Focus on their partner’s needs, with little regard for their own.
Narcissists: Prioritize their needs above all else and disregard their partner’s boundaries.
In this dynamic, both partners end up reinforcing a cycle that neither may be fully aware of.
Narcissist and codependent parents: How Family Shapes Cuture Relationships
Typically, children of narcissistic parents end up being codependent and children of codependents are likely to become narcissistic.
Our subconscious objective or attraction in romantic relationships is something that mirrors our relationship with one or both parents, creating a codependent and narcissist marriage dynamic for some.
This connection is not always obvious. It’s something that our nervous system is wired for from childhood. Therefore, we pair with someone who elicits those familiar feelings in our nervous system with the subconscious objective to resolve unfinished business with that parent, even if it means engaging in a toxic cycle.
The problem is that without an awareness, bringing what is subconscious to conscious, you are likely to perpetuate the legacy of the narcissistic-codependent toxic cycle rather than resolving it.
breaking the cycle: How to deal with a codependent narcissist
Awareness of your relationship dynamics is key to breaking the narcissistic-codependent toxic cycle. Bringing unconscious behaviors into awareness can be achieved in one of two ways:
healing your childhood trauma and through that work realizing you’re playing it out in your primary relationship; or
working on your primary relationship and realizing what you’re participating in is a result of your childhood.
True Colors: Codependency Narcissist Dynamics and Recovery
Recovering from a narcissist-codependent relationship often involves seeing the true colors of both the narcissist and the codependent patterns at play. When a couple works together to heal, acknowledging the toxicity and moving toward relational growth, the partnership can grow exponentially stronger.
Moving forward from a codependent-narcissist dynamic
If you find yourself in a narcissist-codependent relationship and want to change, it’s crucial to set boundaries, work on self-awareness, and seek support to break free from toxic patterns.
Understanding that your yin-yang relationship compatibility may have negative impacts can help you take steps toward a healthier dynamic.
>>You are capable of healing from toxic relationship cycles. Contact us to be connected with the right therapist, whether you’re coming in alone or with a partner. <<
Breaking the legacy of narcissist-codependent toxicity is not only possible, but when a couple is able to heal together, hold hands and face the challenge of personal and relational growth, the relationship is exponentially stronger and more satisfying than ever.
If you find yourself in a narcissistic-codependent relationship cycle, relationship therapy could be helpful for you to come to terms with any childhood relationship dynamics that you may have experienced and get on a path to healing.
Book a free 15-min consultation to see if couples therapy with Aspera Therapy can help!
For more information about the narcissists-codependent relationship dynamic, be sure to check out our other articles:
