Overcoming Generational Trauma

Generational trauma includes physical, psychological and sexual abuse, effects of substance use and abuse, and effects of living with personality disorders and mental illness. It can happen through direct experience, witnessing violence, or living with a constant threat of violence.

Healing ourselves is facing the generations that came before us and handing back to them the legacy of harm. Having the consciousness of knowing what you learned from the generations before you is sometimes a huge part of the battle. For instance, growing up your father raged and beat you. You learned two things during this experience: one - you should feel ashamed and inferior; two - raging and beating is what men look like when they get angry.

Often, because of what is acceptable in society, legacies lose some of their strength as generations go on. Maybe you then find yourself as a dad, not beating your kids, but you lose your temper and yell. It isn’t until you can recognize that you’re passing along the same messaging to your children that you might be able to stop it.

Generational trauma shows up as witnessed behavior as well. For instance, you witnessed your mother having an affair while your father was away and grow up not trusting relationships and also being unfaithful in them. 

A common turn of phrase is “hurt people hurt people” and it’s true. Your damage will damage the people around you if you don’t do anything about it. Healing is possible. You are not alone.